Windswept Page 9

  I felt like I couldn’t breathe until my feet were on solid ground again, but maybe it was just me holding my breath. It was like going down the big hill of a roller coaster—however many times you ride it, your stomach always drops.

  The roof we appeared on looked over Central Park, the bright buildings of New York outlining the blackened sections of trees in the center of the busy city. Paths were illuminated by pale lights, making a maze through the dark park.

  We were so far up that the loud sounds of the street below were almost to the point of being muted. It was like a hideaway where nobody could see or hear.

  “Are we near Fifth Avenue?” I asked.

  “Yeah, it’s right below us.”

  Reid led me to the edge before releasing my hand. We looked over, down to the streets below, with the slight breeze pushing our hair around. The temperature had dropped more, and the change in temperature made me shiver. The sunshine in New Zealand had been nice.

  “Are you cold?”

  “A little.”

  “Sit by me?”

  Even though it was a question, the want in his voice was unmistakable.

  I followed him to the other edge and watched as he sat down on the parapet, letting his legs hang over. I’d never had a problem with heights, so I joined him on the ledge without a second thought. When I was seated, Reid moved closer to me, so our legs and arms were brushing against each other.

  “Is that better?”

  I felt his eyes on me, but I didn’t look at him, afraid he would see my reddening cheeks. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the park below. I watched the people, but the only person I could think about was the boy next to me. But what I didn’t get was, why me? Why had Reid decided to show himself to me?

  “Reid . . .” From my peripheral vision, I saw him look at me. “Why me? I mean, why did you even talk to me that day on the subway?” I stared at my shoes as they dangled in the air, hundreds of feet over the street. I was nervous for his answer, like he would suddenly realize his mistake and change his mind.

  “Other than the fact I think you’re cute?”

  I smiled and nudged him in the shoulder. “I’m serious, I want to know.”

  He grinned, his dark eyes somehow bright in the night. “I am serious.”

  “There has to be another reason.”

  He hesitated. “There is, but . . .”

  “Tell me.”

  Reid scratched the back of his head and avoided my gaze.

  “Because you noticed me before you knew about my ability. You noticed me even when you thought I was normal, before you ever got to know me. That’s why I knew you were special.”

  Special. That was one word that nobody had ever used to describe me before.

  I stared at him even after he looked away, down to the street and people below. I found myself not wanting to be anywhere else in the world than right where I was at that moment.

  REID

  NEW YORK, UNITED STATES

  SAM WAS QUIET FOR A LONG TIME AFTER I ADMIT-ted some things I probably shouldn’t have. Her eyes stared downward, not focused on anything particular. I wanted to somehow change the subject but didn’t know how.

  “You’ve been quiet for a long time, you know,” I said.

  Her eyes finally moved, but she still stared down at the street. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “Stuff like how everyone makes the mistake of not noticing you,” she answered.

  When she turned to look at me, a smile tugged at her lips. I held her gaze until it started to become awkward, and then I said, “Well, I’m glad you didn’t make the same mistake.” We stared out over the park for a few minutes in silence. I peeked over at her and she stole a glance, smiling again. “So did I ruin your Saturday night plans?”

  Sam laughed once to herself and shook her head. “I never have plans. Once in a while my friend, Nella, will make me go somewhere with her—like last night—but I usually stay in and watch anime or something.”

  When she said last night, I had to stop and think about it. It really was just last night. It seemed like a week ago.

  “Actually,” she started, “can I ask you something about that? I know I still don’t know much of anything, but why do you fight at the clubs?”

  I was afraid this question would lead to other unwanted subjects. Subjects I wasn’t ready to touch yet. I knew telling her was eventually the right thing to do, especially if I wanted to keep seeing her, but I was still hesitant. My past and personal life was something I kept to myself. The only person who truly knew me was Jake.

  But I wanted Sam to know me, too.

  I decided to tell her the truth, but only as much as I could bear. One truth at a time.

  “It’s good money, and I like the quick cash.” And I do it because I need to eat. That was the whole truth, but only half of it made its way out of my mouth.

  “How often do you do it?”

  “As often as I can without being noticed. It wouldn’t do me any good to be recognized as the guy who always wins.”

  “How did you do that, by the way, without it being visible to everyone else?”

  “The action is small, and so is the drift. In a way, it’s almost invisible. It just appears like I’m moving fast and people believe it, because in their eyes, what other explanation is there?”

  I nodded, thinking about that fight again. “Is that why the sliders were after you last night? Because you always win?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. Buck would like nothing more than to drive me out of town.”

  “So you live here then? In the city, I mean.”

  I swallowed and found my mouth dry. I wasn’t sure why I thought I could pull off not telling her—of course I had to. It was easier showing her things rather than trying to explain it all. I’d never been great with words. But could I do that with other things, too?

  I said, “I’m sorry that I’ve been hesitant. I’ve never told anyone this stuff before and it’s a lot. For both of us. It’s hard for me to explain everything at once.”

  She half smiled. “Is that why you showed me this morning, instead of just telling me?”

  I cringed a little at remembering her shocked face. “Yeahhh.” I let the word drag out.

  “Does this mean you’re going to show me something else?”

  “If you want me to,” I answered hesitantly. I was nervous about showing her where I lived, but it was the only way to show her who I truly was. It wasn’t something I could hide from. “I want to tell you beforehand that I might not be who you think I am. Apart from drifting, my life isn’t all that great.”

  I averted my eyes from hers, afraid of seeing something I didn’t want to. I swung my legs back around onto the roof without waiting for an answer. Sam followed me and silently stepped up to my side to grasp my hand. I loved the feeling of hers in mine.

  “I still don’t think it’ll change anything,” she said.

  I looked over at her. “I hope it doesn’t.”

  I felt her hand tighten around mine as I drifted. My room was immersed in blackness from the night and lack of street lamps outside. The only people who came around this area usually didn’t care about having good lighting; in fact, they usually relied on it being the opposite.

  “Nice place.”

  I smiled at the sarcasm in her voice. “Hold on, let me find a light.”

  “When you turn it on, am I going to find dead bodies hanging from the ceiling or something?” She laughed nervously.

  I let out a low chuckle. “No, nothing like that.” I let go of her hand and made my way blindly to the battery-powered lamp near my bed. I turned the knob, illuminating the small room in a dull glow. I stood and looked at Sam. She wasn’t looking at me, just everything around me, taking me in in my natural environment. There wasn’t much to look at.

  Her eyes traveled over the nonexistent kitchen and lone dresser, and to my pathetic bed that didn’t even have a box spring or frame, and then
finally to me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt awkward standing there as she realized I was practically homeless.

  Why did I even bring her here? Would it have been better if I’d lied to her and brought her to someone else’s apartment while they were gone? Pretended Jake’s place was mine instead?

  I stopped thinking, knowing the moment had already passed. I’d made my decision. It was up to Sam now whether she still wanted to be around me.

  “I’m sorry I’m nothing more than this,” I said.

  “I never asked for anything more.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was lying, but I wanted to believe the sincerity in her words.

  “Then what do you want, Sam?” I asked, my voice weak. “Because I don’t have anything except this. It’s just me. You can’t possibly want that.”

  A lump formed in my throat as I thought about my life, knowing it amounted to nothing. How could she not see that I wasn’t worth it?

  Nobody, nobody, nobody.

  “Reid?”

  I blinked, bringing myself out of my thoughts and back to her eyes. “Tell me the truth,” I whispered. “Am I who you thought I’d be?”

  She shook her head. “No, not in the slightest.” But before I could respond, she stepped closer to me, a little less than a foot away. “You’re so much more. It sounds really corny to say it out loud, but it’s true.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, hesitant at first. “But I’m not. This is all I am. How can you say that I’m more?”

  “It’s not about what you have or what you don’t have. I’ve already seen enough to know that you’re different from everyone else, but for the better, and not just because of your drifting.”

  “But you barely know me.”

  “That’s why I’m here, right?”

  We stared at each other, and I honestly thought it was because neither of us knew what to say. I sure didn’t.

  Her phone made some noise from her pocket and she broke eye contact, pulling it out. I looked away. A small sigh came from her, and I glanced to see her texting someone.

  “It’s my friend, Nella. She’s wondering what I’m doing because she’s bored. There’s no doubt she’s on her way to my house right now.”

  “Do you want to go back?”

  “No, but I probably should.” She winced. “I haven’t told her anything about you. She’ll probably freak out if I’m not there when she shows up.”

  “All right, I’ll take you back.” My voice sounded dull, but I tried not to give away that I didn’t want her to leave. Sam nodded and held my hand again.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

  I narrowed my eyes even though she wasn’t looking at me. “What for?”

  She shook her head. “Never mind. And you can take me right inside. I don’t want to appear on my doorstep if she’s already there.”

  “Okay.”

  I thought of the hallway in her home and then we were there. It was dim, the only light coming from above the door, and it cast long shadows where we stood. It felt awkward between us; I was still turning our previous conversation over in my head, knowing how there were still so many questions and things left unsaid. How I wasn’t sure I believed what she saw in me. I slowly stepped away from her and dropped her hand.

  “I don’t care if you think I’m wrong, but I know what’s right,” Sam said, almost like she’d been reading my thoughts. When I didn’t respond, she asked, her voice quieter, “Why do you live there? Where’s your family?”

  The very question I was trying to avoid. I pushed my hands into my pockets. I opened my mouth, trying to find the words.

  “My parents died a few years ago,” I started, not knowing how else to say it. “I didn’t have any other family.” I shifted my weight, feeling her eyes on me. “A police officer drove me to the station and I sat there for a really long time until a lady came to talk to me. She was trying to find a temporary home for me to stay in until they could find somewhere permanent.”

  I paused, not sure if I should keep going. Sam’s eyes were unwavering, waiting for me to tell the rest.

  “After the woman said permanent, I couldn’t stop thinking about that word and how wrong it was. Permanent was supposed to mean living at home with my parents. I didn’t want a new family because I already had one. The woman left me for a little while and I stared at the pictures framed on the desk and I did the only thing I knew. I just—I just left.” I took a deep breath and finished with, “And I never went back.”

  Sam’s skin looked pale in the light and her eyes were dark and wide, standing out. Then her shoulders relaxed a little, letting me breathe.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “Don’t be. I don’t regret it.” I decided it was time to change the subject.

  “Can I tell you a secret about me?” she asked. “Seems only fair for me to share one now, too.”

  I nodded and she took a step forward, bringing her face alongside mine, her mouth next to my ear. Then she whispered, “I like you.”

  I was one hundred percent sure she could hear my thoughts screaming through me. She likes me. “You do?”

  She pulled away, nodding. “Yes.”

  I wanted to kiss her more than anything. Just as I was thinking about trying to, a knock sounded from the front door. We quickly stepped away from each other, like we were guilty for being caught even though the person outside the door couldn’t see us. I looked down the hall.

  “That’s probably Nella,” she said.

  “I’d better go.”

  “Reid, wait.” She paused. “When will I see you next?”

  “When do you want to see me?”

  Another knock came and Sam cringed. “Soon.” She nodded to herself. “Really soon. Please?”

  I smiled. “Soon,” I agreed.

  I drifted with her smile etched into my mind, back into my room with the smell of crumbling cement in the air. I was still smiling as I slipped off my shoes and climbed into bed. I didn’t bother taking off my clothes—it was warmer in the winter when I didn’t. I flipped the light off and turned over to look out the window, watching the clouds pass over the moon. Finally, after what seemed forever, my eyes became heavy enough for sleep.

  Sometime in the limbo between being asleep and awake, I heard someone drift into my room, disturbing the silence. The faint sound of a rushing breeze was soft but unforgettable. A hand grasped my shoulder and I swung out my elbow and hit him in the jaw.

  “Hell, Reid, it’s just me!” Jake backed away clutching his mouth. “I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

  “What are you doing, sneaking in here like that?” I asked, still rattled.

  I sat up against the wall and turned the light on. Jake grinned while he rubbed his jaw.

  “What are you smiling about?” I asked.

  “You just got back,” he said, almost knowingly.

  I raised an eyebrow as he sat on the end of my bed. Now that he was closer, he smelled like secondhand smoke and fresh air. Two smells that aren’t normally found together.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “You hooked up with that girl, didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t hook up with her.” I smiled a bit and nodded. “But I was with her tonight.”

  “That’s good. Are you going to see her again?”

  “Yeah, probably tomorrow.” My stomach fluttered at the prospect.

  “And she didn’t freak out when you told her?”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly tell her. I showed her because I didn’t know how to explain it.”

  He laughed. “I can’t believe the things you do sometimes.” After I didn’t say anything in response, he dropped his smile and said, “We still aren’t sure who’s taking drifters, but we have some people watching Knox.” He eyed me. “You need to be careful.”

  “I am being careful—I haven’t seen a slider in days.”

  Besides Gavin, but Jake didn’t know about him, and I trusted Gavin so he wasn’t worth
mentioning.

  He stood. “I’ll let you sleep. I probably shouldn’t come while you are passed out. Would have been safer for my jaw.”

  “Probably.”

  “I’ll be getting another place tomorrow here in the city. I’ll let you know where.” I nodded as he backed away. “See you, mate.” Jake had a knack for small talk, but sometimes I wished he wouldn’t rush off so fast.

  I sat against the wall for another few minutes, thinking about the tension between the drifters and sliders and wondered how it ever got to be so bad. We were different, so what? Now Knox might be making drifters disappear? Why?

  We have always been at odds with each other, but now it seemed to be something deeper than what I could see on the surface.

  I turned off the light and slipped under my covers again. Sleep was slow to come the second time, and the cold temperature wasn’t helping. Winter came early this year, and my sleeping bag wasn’t warm enough at below-freezing temperatures. In the winter, I would usually spend my nights somewhere in Florida, or even Arizona, but lately, I didn’t feel like leaving the city.

  For the first time in a long time, it felt like home.

  SAM

  NEW YORK, UNITED STATES

  THE NIGHT HADN’T BEEN KIND. I DREAMED ABOUT the cliffs and ocean again, just as I’d imagined before getting on the train earlier that week. Except this time, the sky was starting to turn into day, and the grass was no longer frosted. My stomach was in a knot every time I woke up.

  After exhaustion finally caught up with me, I slept a few hours straight until the sun woke me. I lay in bed for a good twenty minutes, trying to think about what was wrong with my stomach recently.

  The easy answer would be the flu. It was flu season after all, and all of the symptoms pointed to it—well, besides the hallucinations. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t the flu. It was something different. Something that scared me more than I liked to admit.

  By the time I got showered and dressed, I felt more normal. My skin was still pale and there were bags underneath my eyes, but I saw no other evidence of my recent long nights. I pulled on a light sweatshirt and started downstairs. The way the house was quiet and the sun still rising reminded me of the previous morning when Reid had showed up so unexpectedly.